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2004-11-17 - 12:23 a.m.

ok. i have been gone for some time but i had good reason. first and foremost is the sadening news of W being chosen (not reelected as he was not the first time and i do not believe he was for the 2nd time) for the leader of our country again. this truly depresses me. how can people that exist in the same realm of reality as i truly just sit by and accept this farce? i would have to say that it is out of blind stupidity and the desire to see what they want. i have much more to say on this matter but will say it later. anyway, i am back and much has happened besides the setback of the elections. i had dinner w/ the woman i lived with after/left for/ my husband. it was interesting to say the least but, it has reawakened my need to hash out my issues. of course i could be with her again. she is sweet and can make me feel lovely things but is that really all i want from life? can i truly be happy w/ just accepting pleasure? no. i don't think so. even knowing that she may read this can't change that. i need to know who i am and what it is that i need to be a complete human being. stupidly i am going to visit dan in LA in a week or so while my daughter is w/ her dad for thanksgiving. once again. that conversation is for another nite. i even have funny stories to share about msh. but later. ok off to bed and my sniffy cold.

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